bar tips

TOP TEN THINGS OVERHEARD WHILE BARTENDING A SHOOTER JENNINGS SHOW

It's been a long week of shows and I've overheard so many strange and share-worthy statements that my head is about to split open.   Yet as expected, it was the country music fans at the Shooter Jennings show who took the cake:  Being the start of the weekend and everyone having just been paid, it did not take long before the gems were flying.  

10.   I just come right up to the road block and throw my hands in the air and says to the cop you got me, I done it, take me away.

9.  I slept with Kenny Rogers once; his balls were huge.

8.  You know what happens when you hit a guard rail?  You rip your goddamn leg off, that's what.

7.  That bitch tied a string to his dick and pulled him out the side door.

6.  Y'all wanna get so fucked up we go home in ambulances tonight?  Gimme a Bud Lite!

5.  Beer ain't supposed to be black.  You gotta see through it if you's gonna drink something.  I'll just take a Bud Lite...

4. Can you put a little ass in my beer? (Also heard: Can you put some ass in my wine?)

3.  Goddamn that's one big woman.  I bet she's got a hairy ass, too.

2.  Try that again and I will break my pussy over your balls. (said by a man, btw)

1.  What? Ya'll aint got Bud Lite? Far as I'm concerned it ain't a bar if it ain't got Bud Lite. If you ain't got Bud Lite then I don't know where I'm at, cause I ain't in a bar.  What the fuck am I gonna drink now? Gimme a Coors Lite. What! You ain't got no Coors Lite Neither? This is the worst night of my life.